Shangchuan Island is the largest coastal island in the Guangdong province… We went there and man… it was weird.
The island itself isn’t particularly close to Guangzhou. We took a 3 hour bus ride from the bus station at Tianhe Coach Terminal (line 3 on the metro) to the city of Guanghai. From there it’s another 45 minute bus ride to the dock and an hour boat ride to the island.
We arrived late in the afternoon, so we missed the last ferry/boat to the island. We decided to hire a private car to drive us closer to the dock, so that we could just wake up and go the next morning and have the whole day there. Eventually we found a town five or so minutes from the dock and booked the first hotel we could find. The town was shocked to see foreigners. A guy with perfect English came up to us and asked us what in the hell we were doing there… We told him about going to Shangchuan and he informed us there are two island. One is a resort type island (that we would go to) and the other one is meant for fishing. He was a nice fellow… We eventually ate, drank too much baijiu (or at least I did) and went to bed. Nothing too exciting…
The next morning we woke up early and headed for the dock. The boat was first come first serve; which is always an experience in 
China since they don’t really believe in lines… We got there a little before 11am and made an 
inquire as to what we should do and where to go. We were driven to this strange little beach ‘town’ – not quite a town but not really a resort either. I don’t really know what to call it but you pay 60 RMB (10 USD) to get in… It seemed awfully steep but we had come all this way… The place was just your classic China – clashing beauty with dilapidation. The town managed to look both modern and post-apocalyptic… shabby, sun-stained buildings next to brand new statues and well-maintained forestry. We started to wonder what exactly our 60 RMB was getting us… The food was average and overpriced. We asked about finding a room and the prices were pretty outrageous. Anywhere from 600-900 RMB for a night in a room that is pure crap… There were 5 of us and we wanted to cram into a room with 2 beds but they would only let 2 people stay in one room. Chinese regulations or some shit… After shopping around we found a place for slightly cheaper and exhaustion made us settle on it. All hotel rooms in this part of China look the exact same…
We headed down to the beach for a swim. In China, nobody knows how to swim and they are deathly afraid of the water. You know
how beaches are… well… everywhere else in the world? You can go where you want, swim where you want and do what you want (within reason). Well, not in China. They have a swimming area that is probably half the size of a football field. I started to walk in and the lifeguard demanded that I/we wear a life jacket. The best part about it: at the deepest, the water was only waist high. They expect everyone to wear these giant, orange life jackets (that weren’t free) in water that you can’t even swim in… You would have to be incredibly skilled to drown in something like this. We argued and eventually just went in… The 5 of us sat down and relaxed in water that was 2 feet deep. I started to venture out further, where the water is waist high but the referee cited me with a red card and demanded I come back to ‘shallow water’. This was just CLASSIC CHINA. They take a stunning beach (and it was truly stunning) and let the fun police ruin and regulate it. The day was beautiful so we decided to go for a walk, away from the designated swimming area. They told us not to because that area was ‘for fishing’ – despite the fact that not one person was fishing.
during the day, no Asians in sight
We went and looked at the Nine-Dragon cave… an odd little park with loads of statues that make no sense… just creepy. There is a 10 minute hike to the top where you can find a pathetic penis statue (there is a joke in there somewhere). We snapped our photos then looked at the statues in the cave. Strange… that’s all I can say.
seriously… what the fuck?
huehuehuehuehuehue
Shang Tsung – the latter years
Next we walked out to an island that basically looked deserted… Sat down in the waist high water and relaxed. From a distance, we saw a boat coming our way from the swimming area – they had spotted us! 10 minutes later they were throwing their red flag at us again; telling us we couldn’t swim there because of jellyfish. So we hiked to the top of the island on a concrete path, overgrown by vegetation. At the top was a nice view and a statue. We made our way back to the beach and on the walk back, we noticed there were tons of jellyfish washed up on the shore; so maybe there was some truth to what the lifeguard was saying… We got back, had a beer and passed out from our sunburns.
Around 6 PM is when the Chinese come out from their dwellings and visit the beach. They are scared of the sun and afraid of darkening their skin. Once the sun has set, the beach becomes littered with Chinese that look like walking, orange buoys. Every one of them is wearing a life vest, even when they aren’t in the water. It was actually amazing for us because the beach was deserted during the beautiful part of the day and infested when we didn’t need it anymore. Once the sun completely sets, search lights (YES SEARCH LIGHTS) scan up and down the beach to make sure nobody is having any fun or enjoying the view of the stars (something that is hard to find in Guangdong). Going to the beach in China is truly an experience – something every foreigner must try at least once.
the beach at dusk
The next day we went to the “Province Nature Protect Area”… that sounds like a nice park or biosphere or maybe even an animal sanctuary of some kind… but no. It’s a concrete path to a random monkey 
zoo in the middle of some sort of forest. It was anything but a 
sanctuary… more like a carnival. The adult monkeys do tricks while the younger monkeys relax and look cute. It felt wrong being there because I’m not so sure they were treating these monkeys all that well. Not terrible, and nothing worse than a carnival but still… We were greeted by 5 monkeys trained to do a flag show. Many of the monkeys are free to walk around and do what they want; that part I enjoyed. They had the alpha male in cage – probably too aggressive. Then a man with a loud whip made a monkey do some pretty impressive tricks… He caught knives, rode a bike and dunked a basketball. It was entertaining but I felt pretty bad for these monkeys – but caged, wild animals in general are always a little disheartening for me.
After the monkey shows… wait, sorry – Province Nature Protect Area, we saw the Lechuan Buddha. This ancient relic constructed in 1993 was both big AND gold. Have a walk inside the Buddha and see some more queer statues… incredible. The best part about this site were the view points. This island itself is gorgeous and if you can get away from the tourism it is quite enjoyable. We snapped some more photos and relaxed under some shade. Afterwards we headed back to the dock and set sail for home.
All in all, I’m glad we went. China is such a peculiar country, and this trip demonstrates the ways in which it is both compelling and underwhelming. Shangchaun Island is breathtaking… It’s just a shame that China doesn’t know what to do with it.
Two Farts in the Wind 